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Type Thief: Calico Critters Are Lesbian Trend Icons

A several months back, I opened a box that was intended to contain garbage baggage and identified, in its place, a Calico Critters* Relatives Seven-Seater, a British-wanting mini-van driving alongside the oceanside with a bunch of rabbits peeping out the home windows. My wife was certain it was haunted and urged me to repackage it right away and send out it again! Neither of us had at any time even listened to of the Calico Critters, but, in accordance to the lesbian movie canon, idyllic European seaside configurations are not fertile ground for goodtime gay fun. I, even so, was fully enamored. I needed to continue to keep the Loved ones 7-Seater and fill it up with as several Calico Critters as I could get my hands on. A swift Google look for unveiled SO Several CRITTERS. Cats and rabbits and bears and otters and giraffes and donkeys and sheep and who even is familiar with what all.

Stacy last but not least persuaded me to ship back the Seven-Seater, but Calico Critters were quickly almost everywhere. They landed in my TikTok inbox (Thank you, Valerie Anne), and then on my FYP. They popped up in YouTube’s suggested video clips. Even my retro video gaming subreddit was abruptly flush with Critters. I realized it was a indicator. These Critters were being making an attempt to inform me something — but what? And then, a person night, as I was drifting off to an ASMR online video of a girl gently whispering while stroking the Midnight Cat Critters with a small paintbrush, I understood one thing. These Calico Critter dads were being all lesbian manner icons! I now owned 50 % the apparel and equipment they were being carrying, and a speedy research of Wildfang unveiled in close proximity to-matches of the other half of their wardrobes.

And so now I am performing what I have been called to do — building a Fashion Thief for these legendary Calico Critter suits. You’re quite welcome.


Billy the Goat, a Homosexual With a Message

Billy, the mail man or woman of Cloverleaf Corners, is on the lookout sharp in a plaid button-up and navy slacks, with a Timbuk2 — the go-to general performance shipping and delivery sack of messengers and cycling commuters for 3 decades — slung more than the shoulder.


Bruce the Koala, Your Friendly Neighborhood Plaid Dad

Bruce, the chief of the Cloverleaf Corners Environmental Consciousness Culture, is prepared to help save the earth in type with this comfortable common tomboy shirt and small combo.


Kyle the Otter, Sapphic Sea Swag

Kyle the Sea Otter, Cloverleaf Corners’ resident swim instructor, is creating a splash in a shorter-sleeve button-up that pays homage to the magical island of Lesbos, with daring sketches of Sappho and Skala Erressos set against a cerulean backdrop.


Theo the Cat, Bowtie Tabby

Theo doesn’t just look smart in this professorial paraphernalia — with leather-based belt for additional butch self-confidence! Theo is smart! All people in Cloverleaf Corners calls up Theo when they need instructions, and Theo is satisfied to straighten that bow tie and set them on the ideal path!


Arthur Cuddle Bear, Coverall King

Arthur is the mayor of Cloverleaf Corners, and this outfit states Arthur is ready to get to operate. The Critical All round has 6 pockets, and various straps that can double as a tool belt. The bow tie and button-up elevate this everyday workwear into anything a minor additional fancy.


Harlin Hopscotch Rabbit, Mr. Peter Tartantail

Harlin is an function planner who bakes bread for enjoyment. Regardless of whether prepping for a marriage at the Sweet Raspberry Home or kneading the way to a place in the Wonderful British Bake Off tent, Harlin’s hopscotch suit is the two exciting and purposeful, with pops of electric coloration!


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